poof;
yah.actually i didnt "online" for two months.
but i did! i blog and then just turn off com. that's all.
sometimes wanted to think drying.
always though that our distance is longer and longer,
further and further. and your are running far apart from me.
but i'm chasing hardly behind your. i feel a big hole in my heart.
i learnt many thing these two months.
learn how to keep quiet.
learn not to talk too much.
learn when i gna go when the wrong road came.
and the most important is to not to disturb them again.
these two months what i did is laugh all the way.
i'm depressed. tired. and many many.
sometimes because of too depressed alr,get into laughing.
laughing lets a person to cooldown.
yeah. and i listen to music all the time.
music cures feelings too.
esp. heart was aching like harder and harder each time.
i felt like a prisoner that trapped in the prison too long.
nobodys gonna visit me.
but after a few weeks not online-ing.
think that it's alr a habit,so concentrate on study.
the reasons.
those msg i read in last two months.
i realised that they didnt mag or tag me.
like,"hey,kaicheng. where have you gone for these weeks? com spoilt or sth?"
but they didnt larh.
i realise that our talking methods all changed.
unlike those good and kind greetings.
sometimes are quite directly,and then i will get tired.
think what is the next thing i gonna say. but sometimes seen to get bad.
when i asked who is this person and those they just say is friend friend. hais.
i tried to online msn for them to see whether they will response or what,
but there's no replies. i dont even dare to msg them.
and think that time is only the medicine they need and i need too.
then my mind would keep thinking those foolish things again andd again.
do you know what this means?
i was quite a stranger to them. i felt i'm an idiot keep on talking to them.
sometimes,when they need listeners,i sort of like being athere for them.
sometimes feels bad when they mood-swings or pissed off with sth,
yah and i feel sad too.
because you nvr wanted a person you cared so much to be sad.
ya.really.
even sometimes i made your angry.
and perhaps i was really not a friend in your eyes.
i'm sorry.
i'm really sorry.
time;3:40 PM